Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize