I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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