You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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