Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
