I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
