Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
