i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
