I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
