Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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