remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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