I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
