I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
