I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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