you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
