It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
All the doctor said was why
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
