I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
