Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
