I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
