His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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