my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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