he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
