He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
