we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
