New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize