I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
