After last night, I could never be a politician.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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