He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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