escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
