i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
