I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
