Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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