so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
