We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You need Xanax blowdarts
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
