Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
