I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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