I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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