Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
