He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
