even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
