there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
