fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
