i need an iv and a liver transplant
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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