I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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