how can u be prego again
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
