You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
