Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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