It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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