check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
