so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
