you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
