why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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