It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
