We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
