seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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