She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
