You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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