he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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