If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
