I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Welp...herpes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
