Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I deserve this hangover.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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