i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize