First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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