A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
