so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
