How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
