You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize