It's like God shit irony all over that family
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
