my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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