what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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