I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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