You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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