It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
