blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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