I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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