Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
