grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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