I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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