Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
