TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
