I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
being pregnant is like rehab
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Randomize
