Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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