So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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