tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We left the knife in your bed.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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