At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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