tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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